According to Dennis Monroe, he’s the “biggest slut” Darrington High School has ever seen — but that was nearly 30 years ago, and today he’s a 46-year-old automotive technician who still lives in his parents’ basement. Once nicknamed “The Conqueror” because of his innumerable sexual conquests, Dennis was the envy of his lacrosse teammates and the scourge of the local women’s clinic. But now, as he struggles to hold onto his thinning hair (and keep his ’85 IROC-Z running), he finds himself wondering whether his “glory days” of chasing tail and getting laid might truly be behind him.
(somewhat inspired by various high school docs)
Like sharks in the deep, they carefully stalk their prey, moving slowly and deliberately before they strike. In late May, as afternoons linger into evenings, the first dim strains of their ominous song mark the official start of summer; their menacing call strikes terror into the hearts of many, slicing through the quiet as they crawl up and down our suburban streets, searching for new quarry to ensnare. This revealing exposé offers an unprecedented look at the hidden world of today’s ice cream truck drivers. Extremely territorial and fiercely competitive, these socially awkward “lone wolves” use twinkling melodies, sugary treats, and cunning strategies to lure their victims, stave off rivals, and maximize profits.
(somewhat inspired by “Hoop Dreams”)
What do Seo-yun Park, Mopsy Culpepper, Rajesh Patel, and Grace Yuen have in common? They each finished as a disappointing second-place “winner” in a national spelling competition. In this unexpected take on the spelling bee phenomenon, we’ll follow these four broken children in the weeks after their devastating losses. You’ll sense the palpable disapproval in their parents’ eyes, the gleeful schadenfreude in their siblings’ smiles, and the utter self-loathing in their own hearts. (NOTE: This film is dedicated to the memory of Miss Culpepper, who took her own life shortly after the conclusion of filming.)
(somewhat inspired by “Spellbound”)
Meet Emily Goldfarb, a 23-year-old make-up sales associate at an urban department store. Her addiction to using social media has recently grown out of control and now threatens her very existence. Even as she crosses busy city streets, waits on deserted subway platforms, and walks down dark alleys in rough neighborhoods, her gaze is almost always locked on her phone screen as she scrolls and swipes her way through timelines, tweets, feeds, and pins. She already lost her left foot in a tragic elevator door accident because she was too busy checking her phone — will her fascination with the virtual world have more tragic consequences IRL?
(somewhat inspired by “Man on Wire”)
They’re everywhere. We use them to label the hours on a clock’s face, to obscure the date of a film’s copyright, and to indicate how many ancestors share a person’s name; indeed, Roman numerals have permeated nearly every aspect of modern culture. But precisely when and where did this system for representing values originate? How did it become so ubiquitous, and why did the Arabic numeral system eventually become more popular? In this illuminating three-hour treatise, Marcus Mentior compiles interviews with experts in fields as diverse as linguistics, mathematics, copyright law, orthography, and horology to detail the fascinating history — and untold dark side — of signifying numbers as the Romans did. You’ll never look at MCMLXXXIV the same way again.
(somewhat inspired by “Helvetica”)
Together, Drs. Trey Koch and Harry Aspen set sail for a once-in-a-lifetime expedition in the South Pacific. Deep within the steamy jungles, on a handful of remote islands that time forgot, the scientists make many exciting new discoveries. In addition to identifying several new species of flora and fauna, they make contact with a heretofore-unknown indigenous population and document the tribe’s lively mating rituals. Join Koch and Aspen on their stimulating journey of self-discovery, as the two men decide to join in the festivities and learn to explore new cultures, new surroundings, and each other’s bodies.
(somewhat inspired by various nature docs)
Today’s competitive athletes are always searching for new and different challenges, continually pushing the limits of what the human body can do and what the public will find even remotely interesting. And it is here, at the very bleeding edge of the sports world, that you’ll find Gil Duffy, the inventor and undisputed world champion of extreme unicycling. This new adventure sport takes the humble unicycle — long a novelty vehicle for clowns, jugglers, and street performers — and races it on the most treacherous courses imaginable: down rocky seaside cliffs, along the edges of icy glaciers, around the lips of active volcanoes. Get set for the one-wheeled ride of your life as you witness Duffy and his thrill-seeking brethren take the unicycle beyond the big top and into the most extreme environments — all while making just 5 square inches of contact with the ground at any one time.
(somewhat inspired by “Dogtown and Z-Boys”)
Last Halloween, Hogan Sherlock wanted to dress as his son’s favorite superhero, but he was horrified by how he looked wearing the unforgiving skin-tight costume. Determined to shed his pudgy “dad bod” once and for all, he resolved to abstain from carbohydrates for the entire month of November. As Sherlock documents his 30-day experiment in self-denial and sugar withdrawal, we see his waistline shrink, his crankiness grow, and his relationships crumble — just like one of those amazing chocolate chip cookies from that new bakery on 33rd.
(somewhat inspired by “Super Size Me”)
When Sotheby’s announced that “Jayden’s Fourth Birthday” sold to an anonymous Chinese bidder for $1.3 million, a furore erupted among the cognoscenti. After all, the piece was just an amateurish 8-page scrapbook album by housewife Kim Lang: it contained blurry photographs, haphazardly arranged on sky blue polka dot paper and gaudily decorated with stickers, ribbons, and other so-called “embellishments” (all purchased ready-made from the local craft store). But when news reports leaked that Lang was $126,000 in debt from buying scrapbooking supplies (and that her proceeds from the sale had rescued her from financial ruin), documentarian Dorothy Gottschalk decided she had to know more. Just what was this scrapbooking phenomenon, and where did it come from? And who are these “scrappers”? What drives them to the brink of bankruptcy in the name of memorializing their mundane life events? And perhaps most important of all, is it art? Find out, as we learn what mysteries lie beneath the vellum.
(somewhat inspired by “Exit Through the Gift Shop”)